The World Turned Upside Down
by SueB3
Summary: Ranger has some strange reactions when Diesel comes to visit Stephanie.
1. Chapter 1

The characters you recognize belong to Janet Evanovich. I am only borrowing them for my own evil purposes. A few characters in the later chapters you won't recognize. They are all my fault.

**The World Turned Upside Down**

by SueB

Chapter 1

I was in the kitchen dropping a well balanced meal of grapes and Cheerios into Rex's cup, being a good hamster mommy, minding my own business, when I heard it.  

POOF!

Crapity, crap, crap. The sure sound of an uninvited visitor. An uninvited and unwanted visitor. Diesel.

Now don't misunderstand me, Diesel's a fine guy and all that and he's definitely hot -- in a six foot plus, sandy hair, pony tailed, killer smile, hard body, day old beard, grungy sort of way.

Thing was, I couldn't handle a third hot man in my life, I already had two.

Or did I?

There was Joe Morelli, a Trenton cop with the best ass in town and my sometime boyfriend, but he had left for an undercover job shortly after our last fight about how I didn't want to settle down, cook his dinners, do his laundry and have his babies.

And, there was Ranger, the dark mysterious bad ass bounty hunter/security expert/contract government agent who had been my mentor since day one in bond enforcement. Ranger was sex walking.......and standing.......and sitting......and lying down........and, well, you get the picture. That his behavior towards me was not always strictly business frequently had my hormones in an uproar but Ranger made it clear that while he was more than willing to take me to bed, he was less than willing to make any kind of commitment.

But, Ranger was always there and he repeatedly saved my bacon. He lent me his cars even though I destroyed them on a regular basis and he sent his men to back me up although they often returned to him broken. Then there was the fact that he'd killed for me and once he'd almost died. It's hard not to love a guy like that. I was pretty sure I did, but in spite of the fact that Joe was out of the picture, Ranger wasn't making any moves.

Still, I didn't want to deal with Diesel. Did I tell you he isn't normal? He calls himself 'human -- sort of.' That's supposed to be a recommendation? From what I can gather, Diesel travels around via the aforementioned 'POOF' saving the cosmos from intergalactic bad guys called 'Unmentionables.' See? Not normal. Not normal at all. I really didn't want to deal with Diesel.

What I wanted was to concentrate on Ranger. He didn't want a commitment, okay, I was willing to start with Ranger induced orgasms and see where it went from there.

I turned my attention back to the problem at hand. "Don't you ever knock?" I was cranky.

Diesel threw me the killer smile accompanied by a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"Sweet Thing, surely you've noticed, no one ever knocks here. They either tumble the locks or kick the shit out of the door. My way's more efficient and doesn't require a carpenter."

"What do you want?"

"Why do I have to want something? Maybe I came just to see you. I've missed you. I thought you might have missed me too." Arms wide, he moved in for a hug.

I sidestepped and slid away. "That thought is way too scary to even consider."

He had the nerve to chuckle. "Boy, somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed." He checked his watch. "It's early -- especially for you. Why are you up anyway?"

Slowly, carefully, like he thought I might bolt, he reached out to run the back of one warm finger across my cheek. "You look tired. Like you could use another couple of hours." His face lit up with an idea. "We could have a little nap."

Oh great! Amorous Diesel. "No! No nap!" I smacked his hand away. "Are you saying I have bags under my eyes?"

"Just sayin' I'm warm and cozy. You could try me out."

"It's July," I yelled, "I don't need warm and cozy. I need air conditioning. And stay out of my bed!"

"Jeezz. You are really not a morning person. Tell me again why you're already up."

"I didn't tell you the first time, but if you must know it's because I'm going for a run with Ranger. He'll be here any minute."

"Ah," Diesel replied, "that explains it."

"Explains what?" I wanted to know.

"That bitchin' outfit," he responded.

I looked down. I was wearing a pair of black spandex shorts coupled with a sports bra and covered over with one of Ranger's T-shirts. The T-shirt was a little large -- maybe more than a little. Diesel, with the hands again, hooked a finger in the neckline and tugged so the shirt ended up hanging off my shoulder.

"Stop that!"

"What?" Diesel was all wide eyes with innocence. "The savior of Western Civilization wouldn't like me messing with his shirt? Hasn't located his sense of humor yet either I bet."

"Ranger's not your favorite person?"

"He and I don't hang out together."

"Yeah, he says the same thing about you.* He also says you give him a migraine** and Ranger's not a headache kind of guy. I don't get it. What is it with you two? You both chase mega bad guys. I'd think you'd have a lot in common."

Diesel took a step back and folded his arms across the considerable span of his chest. With one long lazy sweep he ran sultry brown eyes up from my feet all the way to the shoulder he had just bared.

I yanked my T-shirt back into place. My face flushed hot. "Cut it out!"

With the slightest smile and his eyes now fixed on mine Diesel said in a husky voice, "Ranger and I have a jurisdictional dispute."

Oh boy.

There was familiar tingle at the back of my neck as I heard the locks tumble.

TBC

*Plum Lucky.

**Plum Spooky


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ranger came through my door instantly reminding me why it was worth being up at this ungodly hour.

He wore a black tank top that clung to his sculpted chest and abs like a second skin while displaying the heavy muscle of his arms and shoulders. Black sweats hung low on his hips.

Yum! I was about to check for drool when I realized there was something wrong.

Ranger mumbled, "Babe," in greeting but he wasn't looking at me because one hand was wrapped around his forehead covering his eyes and tightly clenching his temples. A greenish hue tinged his normally luscious mocha latte complexion.

"Ranger?"

He groaned.

"Are you okay?"

He took a couple more steps into the room and cautiously peeked through his fingers squinting as though the light was too bright.

"I know he's here," he said.

"Who's here?" So I played a little dumb.

"Diesel. Diesel's here. Where is he?"

Uh Oh.

I looked. No Diesel in the room, but I could hear banging in the kitchen as he rifled through my cupboards and refrigerator.

"Stop that racket!" Ranger ordered wincing at every sound.

Diesel emerged with a frying pan in one hand and a carton of orange juice that had to be at least a month out of shelf date in the other.

"Hey, Rangeman!" All smiles, Diesel gave the frying pan a friendly wave. Ranger ducked. "Long time no see. You're just in time for breakfast."

I thought Ranger might barf. He gagged then swallowed several times. Finally, he said, "I knew you were here. I felt the rip in the ozone."

Diesel's face fell. "Now, that's harsh," he replied. "No way you're pinning global warming on me."

"I can try," Ranger answered.

"Bummer. Here I have a few days off. I come to see my girl and........"

"Your...your girl! YOUR GIRL!" Ranger interrupted sputtering. "What the hell do you mean -- Your Girl?" His voice got a little louder. "She's not your girl."

**Wait a minute here. I could be his girl if I wanted to. It's not like I'm your girl. **

Ranger's gaze swiveled to me. He opened his mouth.

**Oh, jeez, I said that out loud?**

He closed his mouth again.

Diesel laughed cranking Ranger's ire up a little higher.

Eyes narrowed, he asked, "What are you doing here really?"

I pouted. **He could be here to see me.**

"I told you. I'm on vacation."

**See.**

Ranger persisted. "You don't go on vacation. What's more, you have enemies who don't go on vacation -- ever. Every minute you spend here jeopardizes her safety. Did you think of that? I won't have it. You're going to get her killed."

"You won't have it?" Now Diesel was bristling. "Listen buster," he said, "I think I can handle anything that comes down the pike."

"I don't want her hanging around with you."

My eyes rolled of their own accord. **Excuse me! My choice, not yours. **

Testosterone filled my apartment like helium in a balloon. Worse, Ranger was starting to sound like my mother. At least he seemed to be feeling better now that he was yelling.

Ordinarily I am the queen of delaying tactics when it comes to running in the morning, but pretty soon the global and the intergalactic bounty hunters were going to be chest to chest. The cosmos couldn't handle that kind of confrontation so today running, as soon as possible, seemed like a good idea.

"Uh, Ranger?" I tugged on his sweats. "Shouldn't we be going?" Tug, tug. He finally noticed me. "I have things to do, skips to catch, donuts to eat."

"Babe," he frowned at the same time Diesel said, "That's my girl."

I dragged Ranger into the hall with Diesel calling after us, "You kids have a nice time!" The man had a death wish.

Ranger was mumbling under his breath all the way to the elevator.

Elevator? Ranger never takes the elevator. He always makes me run the stairs. He didn't even notice until we were in the parking lot. Then he closed his eyes and sighed.

Ranger sighed? Ranger doesn't sigh.

"I hate this," he said.

"Hate what?"

"This," he repeated, indicating the parking lot and motioning vaguely at my apartment. "Diesel's being here."

"What's wrong with Diesel?" I wanted to know.

"He gives me a headache and he screws with my karma."

Suddenly, I saw what he was talking about. There's never a good place to park in my lot. At least not for me. Not that I'd needed prime real estate recently since my POS was in the shop. Ranger, on the other hand, has the world's best parking karma. Whenever he wants one, he gets a place right in front of the door.

Nope, not today.

I scanned the terrain. Sure enough there was Ranger's Cayenne ingloriously parked next to the dumpster.

"Hey," I teased, "that's my spot."

Ranger glared.

Death wish. Diesel must be contagious.

All RangeMan cars are black, shiny and new -- none more so than Ranger's but, I could see there was a problem and I was still ten feet away.

Ranger had stopped to stretch out. He didn't look green any more. Distance from Diesel must be helping. I hated to be the one to tell him.

"Ranger?"

"Yeah, Babe."

"Your car."

"What about my car, Babe?"

"The tires are flat." At least the two I could see.

"What??!!!"

Ranger raced around the car.

"Crap!" and "Crap!" confirmed the status of the remaining two.

That invective was followed by, "Shit! Shit! Shit!" each one louder than the next.

I joined him to see what else could be wrong. "No," I told him. "Not shit. Looks more like egg snot." The passenger side of Ranger's SUV was plastered from hood to hatchback.

He was back to squeezing his temples. After a couple of deep cleansing breaths he pulled out his phone and hit speed dial.

"I need a car." **Pause**. "Now!" **Pause**. "This one's dirty." **Another pause longer this time.** "And broken!" He disconnected.

Hard eyes stared at my apartment window. "Someone's going to pay."

Terrific.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I hate running. To be more specific, I hate exercise of any kind unless the movement involves bending my elbow to get the Boston Cream into my mouth.

Although, given my chosen profession, I did see the value in building up my endurance. If I worked at it -- even a little -- I might avoid future embarrassing situations like the one where Cyril Borkowski had left me gasping and panting in his dust.

Cyril was 70 years old and had failed to appear on a charge of assauting (read pinching the boobs of) a comely meter maid who took exception to his three-year stretch of unpaid parking tickets not to mention his dubious appreciation of her considerable assets. My only excuse was that old Cyril had at one time been an Olympic sprinter. Of course twenty years separated his days of glory on the track from my birth but, I chose to overlook that little detail.

If I was going to run, doing it with Ranger did have advantages, namely -- the scenery. There was nothing like watching the smooth fluid motion of Ranger's ass in those silky black shorts as he kept his perfect stride. The first several weeks he was so far ahead I'd needed binoculars to keep my eyes on the prize, but lately, I was proud of the fact that my view of his mighty fine gluteus maximus didn't need mechanical enhancement. Today, with Ranger apparently suffering from some weird Diesel syndrome, the vista was up close and personal. I might be out of breath, but it wasn't from running.

I was so fixed on his ass that when he stopped suddenly I smacked right into it.

"Oooof!"

"Babe!"

He turned around. Next thing I knew, the Ranger kiss drought was over. He pulled me tight against him and his tongue took a leisurely tour of my tonsils. Oh yeah, up close and personal. He was hot and sweaty. I was hot and sweaty. And July's temperatures had nothing to do with kicking up the thermometer. I wiggled in a little closer as his so very talented fingers gently massaged my ass.

"Ohhhh. Mmmmmm." I moaned while briefly considering whether there was any possibility an acquaintance of my mother's would see me melting into a huge gelatinous puddle.

Very briefly. He felt so good!

And then -- he stopped! He was still holding me, good thing or I was on the ground, but there was no more kissing. No more kissing! Damn! Damn! Double Damn!

"Where's he sleeping?"

"Huh? What?" Here I was knees rubber, eyes glazed. About to orgasm in front of God and everybody. What kind of question was that?

"You heard me. Where's he sleeping?"

Sleeping? Nobody's sleeping. I was just waking up and based strictly on body parts, I was pretty damn sure Ranger was waking up too!

"Where's who sleeping?"

Ranger let me go completely. I struggled to remain upright. He eyed me like I was being difficult.

"You know who. Diesel. Where's Diesel sleeping?"

I shrugged. It wasn't a big deal. "I dunno. He just got here. He usually sleeps in my bed."

Ranger's face went still and serious. I suspected it was the expression seen by Columbian drug lords, Hamas operatives and Somali pirates immediately prior to his sending them to hell.

Oops! Maybe the wrong answer?

"I have to kill him then," he remarked -- mostly to himself.

Yeah, definitely the wrong answer. "No!" I shouted. "You can't kill him!"

"Can't? Can't? Who says I can't? Nothing I like better than a challenge." Ranger's lips curled into an evil grin.

The testosterone thing was getting out of hand. God! Men!

"I didn't mean "can't' you're not able to kill him, I meant "can't" there's no reason to kill him."

"Sleeping in your bed? Sounds like a reason to me."

Have to admit that statement sort of made me all warm and gushy. I mean warm and fuzzy.

"Listen, Diesel's too big to fit comfortably on my couch. If he's staying, he'll sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the couch. It's simple. And NOT kill-worthy."

Ranger's eyes narrowed. "Nothing's ever simple with Diesel."

He had a point. Diesel and I had never been intimate, but on previous visits, even though I specified one to the bed and one to the couch we always both ended up in the bed with me missing critical articles of clothing I had no recollection of shedding. Not something I thought I'd share with Ranger any time soon.

"Diesel and I are friends. That's it."

"Yeah, right," Ranger grumbled back pedaling away from me - getting ready to run again, "friends with benefits."

As he turned around one foot went out from under him. He was down. Splat on that exquisite butt.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!"

Yep. This time he was right. Ranger had planted his exquisite butt in the biggest pile of doggie doo doo that I'd ever seen.

Something was rotten in Trenton.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It was rotten all right. Ewwww! Yuck!

Ranger's nose wrinkled and his handsome face twisted. Ranger wasn't used to mess. Ranger didn't like mess. By his own decree, Ranger and mess were never supposed to occupy the same body space.

Not going to laugh. No sir. Not me. Have no desire to relocate to the Third World. Not even going to think about laughing.

Too late. The giggle burbled up from my tummy like a bad meal.

Fortunately, Ranger didn't notice. He had just discovered dog doo on his fingers and was frantically shaking his hands in a fruitless effort to get it off.

I reached for my water bottle. And realized that in my haste to leave the apartment, I'd left it on the kitchen counter. No problem. Ranger always came prepared.

Except for today. His water bottle must be stashed in the car with his sweats. He'd been a little upset about the car.

Although spandex doesn't allow for much baggage, I did have a Kleenex tucked into my shorts. The sweat-soaked tissue I produced disintegrated when I pulled it out. Guess that wasn't going to be much help.

Keeping my distance to avoid the smell, I pointed to the cell phone clipped to Ranger's pocket. "I could call Tank and have him pick us up."

He was horrified. "No, God no! Tank will tell Brown, Brown will tell Santos and Santos, in spite of the fact that he knows I will beat him to a bloody pulp, will post this little incident on the break room bulletin board," he shuddered, "or Facebook. No one will be afraid of me any more. I'll lose my street cred and then my clients. RangeMan will go out of business! I'll have to declare bankruptcy!"

Whoa. Dog dirt to bankruptcy sounded like a stretch to me but then I wasn't familiar with the tipping point of street cred.

As I considered alternative action, a long tall shadow blanketed Ranger's forlorn figure.

"Young fella," cackled a raspy old voice, "young fella you be sittin' in a pile of dog shit."

Dirty Dan. We saw him nearly every morning. Coming from wherever he had been. On his way to wherever he was going. Always clutching a pint of Jim Beam to his chest, the holy grail to his Knights Templar.

Ranger was eyeing the flask. "Babe," he said softly, "I think we can make a deal here."

I looked uncertainly at my soggy Kleenex. Didn't seem like anything Dirty Dan would want. Or maybe he would. You never knew.

"No the Kleenex won't hack it, grab my phone."

Damn ESP. I carefully stepped around a smoldering pile, held my breath and gingerly plucked Ranger's phone from its clip.

"Inside," he directed, "tucked in the case. A bargaining chip."

I pulled out a crisp $100 bill.

"Dan," Ranger said pointing, "I'll trade you that Ben Franklin for your friend Jim there. Deal?"

His eyes burned with a maniacal fire as Dirty Dan recognized either that his morning eye opener was secure for days to come or, more likely, that he was set for one hell of a bender. With a toothless grin, he snatched the money from my hand and flipped the pint toward Ranger who made a frantic grab to keep it from smashing on the pavement.

Dirty Dan disappeared down the alleyway, but not before I got a whiff that confirmed the accuracy of his name.

"Good day for a gas mask," I mumbled.

Ranger triumphantly held up the bottle.

Reality check. Dan had been a thirsty boy this morning. "You realize you just paid $100 for an almost empty pint of Jim Beam?"

"Yeah," Ranger replied pouring what little remained of the liquid into his palm and rubbing his hands together, "but I figure the alcohol will kill the poop cooties."

Poop cooties? Did Ranger say poop cooties?

With his hands as clean as they were going to get, he cautiously got to his feet and stretched out the waistband of his shorts.

"You're not going to take those off are you?" I cried. Ranger always went commando. Not even eating donuts is better than seeing Ranger naked but here and now didn't seem like a good idea.

"I guess not." He looked crushed. He really wanted them off.

"Come on, we'll go back to my apartment and you can shower there. Lester will never know."

"Diesel will."

This was ridiculous. "Or you can stand here all day and let the flies gather."

He conceded, "Oh, all right."

It would have been a good plan if Tank hadn't been in my parking lot directing the removal of the Cayenne. When Ranger spied the flatbed tow truck and the squad of men in black, he cringed..........and hid. I went on.

"Bomber," Tank's face lit up when he saw me. He craned his neck looking over my shoulder. "Where's Ranger?"

He would ask.

"Well he, ah, he ahhh, saw someone he knew. A skip. Yeah. A skip. Took off after him. You know. Should be back in ahh a jiffy. Yeah, a jiffy."

Like as soon as you guys leave.

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened! Okay. Nothing. Nothing happened!"

"Bomber, you're a terrible liar. Tell me what happened."

"I can't,"

"Why not."

"Ranger doesn't want to go bankrupt!" Oh, shit I didn't say that.

To his credit, Tank didn't laugh. He looked concerned. "It's Diesel," he stated matter of factly. "Ranger's allergic."

That stopped me. "Diesel? Ranger's allergic to Diesel?"

"Yeah, usually he manages to be "in the wind" when Diesel shows up. You've probably noticed."

I hadn't, but when I thought about it Tank was right. "Wait a minute. How'd you know Diesel was here?"

"Well, for one thing Ranger got up with a headache. Ranger's not a headache kind of guy."

I nodded.

"And, there's the car. Things happen to Ranger when Diesel's around."

"Things? What kind of things?"

"Strange things. Things that don't usually happen to Ranger."

Boy, you can say that again.

"Then there's the fact that Diesel just left your building."

"He left? You saw him? He left?" I must have been wearing relief on my face.

"Yeah, but he said to tell you he'd be back."

"Oh. Did he say how soon?"

"Something about in time for 'night night'."

Just great.

Tank looked at me speculatively. "Why?"

"Ranger needs to shower."

"I don't want to know."

"Good."

The RangeMen were getting ready to winch the Cayenne onto the flatbed. One of them slowly approached us. I thought I knew all the Merry Men, but I'd never seen the group Tank had brought with him.

"Tank? Who are these guys? I don't know any of them. You been holding out on me?"

"New hires." Tank replied. He laughed. "Not one of them is brave enough to even look at Ranger. Figured if weird stuff was goin' down that might be a good thing."

Maybe Ranger wouldn't go bankrupt after all. "You're a good friend, Tank," I said giving him a peck on the cheek. With Tank it was hard to tell, but I think he blushed.

To cover his embarrassment he barked, "Report!" at the young man who now stood in front of us -- eyes lowered. Guess Ranger wasn't the only one who scared them.

"Tank, Sir," the young man said. "Something you should see, Sir. On the car, Sir."

"Well, show me then," Tank said as we made our way to the car.

"That wasn't there before!" I said. "I would have seen it."

Plastered on the driver side window was a piece of paper. It read "So now do I have your attention? **You're lucky to have someone as attractive as me trying to kill you." **There was no signature beneath the wording, just a small American flag sticker.

Tank whistled and ran his hand across his shaved head. "Damn," he said. "Ranger has a stalker."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

POOF! A loud voice. "Honey, I'm home!"

I jerked awake and shot straight off the couch. Since my gun was parked in the cookie jar, I hurled the TV remote somewhere in the vicinity of the loud voice's owner.

Diesel made a move straight out of The Matrix but I suspected it was my groggy girlie throw rather than his purported superpowers that allowed him to dodge the projectile.

"I could have killed you, you know," I yelled.

The big doofus broke a wide grin as his eyes tracked the trajectory of the remote which had bounced harmlessly off the wall and now lay with its guts spilled all over my floor. Damn, I'd have to get up to change the channels.

"Don't think so, Sweet Thing," he countered, "your gun's in the cookie jar, unloaded I might add, I can't believe Ranger let's you get away with that."

"Leave Ranger out of this. You've messed with him enough today."

"Huh? Come on, would I mess with Ranger?"

"Yeah you would -- in a heartbeat. What about the headaches? What about the parking karma? What about the dog............uh" No, noooo can't go there.

"Dog.....what??"

"Nothing, never mind. What about the car? You vandalized his car didn't you?"

"Hmmm," Diesel frowned, "about the car."

"I knew it, I knew it." In a huff, I went after the pieces parts of my remote. Batteries had gone in every direction. "How could you do that?" I scolded. "It's a Porsche for heaven's sake; it's Ranger's Porsche! Granted, it wasn't the Turbo -- thank goodness -- but it's Ranger's Porsche all the same. You don't do things like that to a Porsche! Not any Porsche -- especially not Ranger's Porsche. It's unnatural!"

Diesel caught me around the waist, lifted me up and spun me around. He held me tight face to face my feet dangling. God, he was big. And strong. And hard. All over. And he smelled wonderful. I remembered that smell. Cookies. Christmas. Sex. He made me dizzy. Maybe that was because he was squeezing me and cutting off my air supply.

"Put me down," I demanded.

"Nope. Uh. uh."

"Please." I wiggled.

Diesel smiled.

Bad move.

He wrinkled his nose and gave me an Eskimo kiss. Still smiling. Still.........hard. This wasn't good.

Wiggling wasn't working. I stopped. "You were going to tell me about the car."

Immediately Diesel's vice-like grip on my midsection eased allowing me to slide down his body. On the way I noticed one particular aspect of his overall hardness was suddenly missing. Just as well. All the playful tension between us dissipated. My feet reached the floor and I could breathe again. He looked at me and his face was more serious than I had ever seen it.

"I need to talk to Ranger."

I stepped back putting a safe foot and a half between us. "Naw, I don't think so."

"I have to."

"About the car?"

"Yeah," he paused. "Sort of."

"Probably not a good idea. He wasn't very happy about the car."

"It's important," he pressed.

Given the events of the day, I couldn't see Ranger agreeing to a face to face with Diesel about the car any time soon. "How important?"

He took a deep breath, "Keep the world safe for mankind important."

"Oh." That did sound kind of urgent and it was definitely in Ranger's line of work.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the disappearing act you pulled this morning would it? I mean you leave a note that says 'Back Later' and here it is tomorrow. What time is it?" I was a little nervous. My mouth wouldn't stop. "And how did you stick that note to my refrigerator anyway? I don't own tape and Grandma Mazur swiped my magnets."

Diesel shrugged. "I have special spit."

"Of course you do! Where have you been?"

"Why? Did ya miss me?"

I gave him my best 'Burg glare.

"Okay, okay. Something came up."

"Thought you were on vacation."

"So did I." Diesel sighed and in his voice I heard what sounded like regret.

"See," I said softly, "you and Ranger are exactly alike – nothing ever comes between you and saving the world." There might have been some regret in my voice too.

"So call him," Diesel urged.

"Now! Are you crazy? It's what -- two o'clock in the freaking morning! And believe me, Ranger had one hell of a day. I seriously doubt he wants to talk to you right now."

"Call him."

"It's late."

Diesel glanced at his watch. "Actually, you could call it early. Call him."

"He'll be asleep."

"That ever stop you before? Call him."

"He'll think I'm in trouble."

Diesel leered. "You are in trouble."

Oh crap.

"Call him."

"You sure you're not doing this just to be annoying?"

"I'm sure. Call him."

"Noooo," whining, "I really don't want to call him."

Diesel stepped close and grasped my shoulders. "Steph," he said giving me a little shake. When I wouldn't look at him he took one fist and gently lifted my chin. I squeezed my eyes tight shut. He brushed his lips across mine slow and warm and gentle. That got my attention.

"Steph," he murmured, "Ranger needs to watch his back."

My eyes popped open. Icy cold fingers closed around my heart. I pictured the angry slashes in the Cayenne's tires, recognized the hate in the note plastered on the car window and heard Tank's voice repeating, 'Ranger has a stalker.'

"Omigod!! Ranger is in danger. I have to call him!"

"Good girl," Diesel approved.

I found my cell phone and hit one on the speed dial.

Ranger answered in only half a ring. "Yo." Guess he wasn't asleep after all.

"Ranger!" I was a little breathless.

"Everything okay, Babe?"

"Yeah. No! I mean. I'm fine but, Ranger, Diesel says you need to watch your back."

"I always watch my back, Babe. And when I can't, Tank does the job for me."

"I know, but Diesel needs to talk to you."

There was a long, long, really long stretch of silence. And then......................"Babe."

"I know, I know. But, Diesel says it's very important. He says it's save mankind important and I know you're allergic and all and probably don't want to see him, but Diesel seems to think it's absolutely necessary and I would die if anything happened to you so would you talk to him, please?!!!"

There was more silence then, "Bond office. 9 a.m. Tomorrow." Disconnect.

I hate when he does that.

"Sooo?" Diesel queried. "That seemed to go all right. Do we have a date?"

"In the morning. 9 o'clock. Bond office." I yawned. I was exhausted -- all of a sudden. "Sleep. I need to sleep."

"Sounds good to me," Diesel replied nudging me toward the bedroom.

I was halfway there when I realized his ploy. I stopped, planting my feet. "Does this mean you are sleeping on my couch?"

His face wrinkled in disappointment. "I don't fit on your couch."

I did an about face and gave him a shove. "That's right," I said. "but remember the rules. One to the bed and one to the couch. Night, night."

Reluctantly, Diesel headed in the opposite direction. I was stumbling to the couch when I heard him chuckle.

"So Ranger's really allergic? To me? Cool!"

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh!

I've really had it with waking up to loud obnoxious noises.

I didn't remember setting my alarm. It didn't sound like my alarm.

Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Etc.............!

"All right, already!"

Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! And on and on and on.

I tried to move. Couldn't. Something big and hot and heavy held me down. Okay, don't panic. Where was I? I opened my eyes. My own bed. The big and hot and heavy thing was Diesel. He'd draped his arm across my chest and his large calloused hand gently, but determinedly, cradled my left breast.

Wait a minute. This wasn't where I went to sleep. I quickly took inventory of my wardrobe. Panties. Ranger's T-shirt. Whew! Everything seemed to be where it belonged. Diesel, on the other hand, didn't appear to be wearing anything except his wrist watch. Which was making a horrible racket in my ear!

Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh!

"Hey!" I yelled. "Get off of me! I can't breathe! Turn that thing off! You're hot! And naked!!"

Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh!

Somehow, through it all, Diesel was still half asleep. "Thanks," he mumbled, "Thought you'd never notice."

"Not that kind of hot!"

Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh!

"Awww," Diesel said ignoring the noise and nuzzling the back of my neck, "way to shoot a guy down."

I tugged on his arm. "Come on. Have to get up. We'll be late for Ranger."

"Can't have that now can we," Diesel grumbled.

Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh!

"Ranger doesn't do late," I insisted.

Chirup! Chirup! Chirup!

Now what? Chirping crickets added to the cacophony assaulting my eardrums. Diesel's cell phone. I was going to be deaf before breakfast.

Diesel heaved a huge sigh and moved his arm to switch off the alarm. It was enough for me to escape his embrace. When he rolled back into position he was hugging air. One eye opened. "Phooey," he declared.

Chirup! Chirup! Chirup! Chirup!

"Hello," I said, "Cell phone. Still ringing."

He threw off the sheet.

"Omigod!!" I was treated to a glorious full frontal view. "Find some pants for Pete's sake."

The phone went to voice mail but Diesel reached for it anyway. When he checked the number he hauled out of bed giving me a full view of his glorious rear as well. Hmmm. It was nice, but it brought to mind a certain mocha latte posterior -- a thought that heated particular body parts with a warmth I knew didn't have anything to do with the morning's temperature.

I was so busy envisioning Ranger's butt that it was a second before I realized Diesel was pacing around the room while talking on his cell. It looked like a deadly serious conversation. Unfortunately, he was still dressed like a Greek depiction of Adonis. In other words, naked as a jaybird! I raced for the bathroom, slammed the door and locked it. Not that a lock ever stopped any of the men who visited my apartment.

A cool shower restored my system to the requisite 98.6 degrees. I dressed for summertime success -- shorts, sports bra, T-shirt, sneakers, mascara. Well, skip chasing success anyway. Hey, it's what I do.

Diesel was gone when I surfaced. There was another note spit stuck -- I wish he hadn't told me that -- to my refrigerator. 'Meet you there.'

My car was still in the shop and I had borrowed Big Blue, Uncle Sandor's behemoth Buick. After Uncle Sandor's demise my Grandma Mazur inherited this relic but, fortunately for everyone on the road, Grandma Mazur didn't drive. I had used Big Blue numerous times since becoming a bounty hunter. It proved to be virtually impossible to destroy which gave it a definite advantage given my penchant for demolishing vehicles. From my perspective that was its only advantage although guys seemed to like it. It was transportation in a pinch.

I pulled to the curb in front of the bond office at 9:05. So I was late. Sue me. After the peep show in my bedroom, a stop off at Tasty Pastry for donuts had been an absolute necessity. Nothing takes my mind off of things -- like naked Diesel in my bed, like hot visions of naked Ranger -- better than a Boston Cream or two or half a dozen.

Didn't see any RangeMan vehicles so I figured Ranger had someone drop him off. Probably didn't want to risk another company asset. Since Diesel was able to travel without the conveyances necessary to mere mortals, it was hard to tell whether he was here or not.

I stretched, fluffed my hair and reached over to the passenger seat to collect my donut bag; something in the rear view mirror caught my eye. It was a shiny, new, black F150 pickup. Looked like RangeMan to me. Gee, did Ranger call for muscle? Then, the man himself emerged.

My watch said 9:07. Ranger was LATE! Couldn't be. My watch must be fast. Big Blue's clock was never wrong. I turned the key to check it out. 9:08. Omigod! This was bad.

Ranger opened my car door. He looked better than he had yesterday, but still not quite himself. His eyes were too bright. Too wide. Too jumpy. And they were fixed on my Tasty Pastry bag. WTF!

"Are those donuts?"

"What?" I couldn't believe my ears.

"Donuts! In the bag! Are those donuts?"

"Yeah," I answered cautiously.

He snatched the bag from my hands and ripped it open.

"Ranger! Stop! Are you okay? Those are donuts! What about The Temple?"

Ranger's body was his temple, a temple where I was more than willing to worship. Only problem was, at The Temple sugar was never an acceptable offering.

"Temple's hungry," he snarled.

Omigod! This was worse than bad. It called for drastic action.

"Soldier," I commanded. "Touch those Boston Creams and you're a dead man."

He stopped, dropped the Boston Cream that had been on its way to his mouth back into the bag and rooted around until he found a jelly. It was gone in two bites leaving a spot of grape at the corner of his mouth and powered sugar drifting down the front of his black painted on T-shirt. I could love this new Ranger!

Post donut, his breathing evened out a little.

"Ranger? Are you sure you're okay? Do you really want to do this?"

"Fine," he insisted. "I'm fine. Bobby gave me some Benadryl. Usually it works. I'll be fine."

"You look a little tired. Did you get any sleep?"

"No sleep," he told me. "Insomnia. Side effect."

"How much did he give you?" I asked.

"Dunno," he responded. "First dose didn't do much. He gave me some more."

No wonder he'd been up when I called him in the middle of the night. "Maybe you better go easy on that stuff," I advised. I'm not sure it agrees with you."

Ranger dropped his chin. As a result he noticed the white dust on his shirt. "Look at that. I'm a wreck," he said sadly.

Poor guy. I moved closer to brush away the evidence. My fingertips noted that the rock hard chest underneath the offending sugar didn't seem to have been at all affected by one jelly donut. Only the iron-clad control had suffered.

"It will be okay," I assured him. "Diesel will catch his bad guy and be gone before you know it. Then your system can get back on track."

Ranger looked at me still woebegone then dropped his head again. "Bad guy's incidental," he said, "he came to see you. Bad guy just happened to show up at the same time."

"Ranger." I waited. When he wouldn't look at me I took my finger and nudged his chin up until I could see his eyes. Weird considering how many times he has done that to me. "Ranger, Diesel came to see me because we are friends. That's all. Just friends." Although he was NAKED in my bed this morning.

"Am I your friend?" Ranger asked softly.

Oh my! He had to ask? "Ranger," I said wrapping my arms around him and laying my head against that -- yes -- still rock hard chest. "You're my BEST friend."

The chest remained rock hard, but I could feel some of his tension ease away. "Diesel was the one who insisted I call you last night. He wanted to make sure you would be careful."

I pulled away to see how Ranger was taking this news. God! That dab of jelly was still on his lip. It was driving me crazy. I stretched up on my tip toes and gently licked it off. Soooooo goooooooood! And I'm not talking about the jelly.

Ranger responded to my tongue by opening his mouth. I did a little flicker action. He moaned and tightened his arms around me. He was just getting with the program when I heard a 'POOF'. Crapity, crap, crap!

And then a voice. "Hey, you kids can get a room after we're done saving the world."

"Shit," Ranger mumbled. **"No matter how many times you save the world it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! ****You know, for a little bit?"**

"Man," Diesel sympathized at the same time casting a speculative eye at me. "I could so get on board with that."

"Achoo!!!!" was Ranger's answer.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Achoo! Achoo!! ACHOO!!!" Ranger sneezed three more times in quick succession.

It looked like the top of his head might blow. "Babe," he cried out, eyes watering, nose running.

I handed him a tissue.

Diesel was impressed. He tucked his hands in his pockets, leaned toward me and advised in a loud stage whisper, "You know, he could probably take something for that. I understand Benadryl is pretty good."

"No!" Ranger and I exclaimed.

"Ged on wid it," Ranger sniffed. "Repord!"

"Huh," Diesel said, checking out his jeans and rusty colored T-shirt. "Does it look like I'm wearing black to you?" he asked me. "Cause I'm not seeing it." His already sizable chest expanded with indignation.

Ranger didn't get it. "Whad?"

I couldn't decide which one of them deserved the bigger eye roll.

"All right, guys," I said. "What are you? Twelve?"

Apparently so. They locked eyes.

Ranger blew his nose. Diesel snagged a donut. Eventually, once the nasal congestion and the low blood sugar were under control, the posturing eased.

"You called it; your party," Ranger finally said.

"Uncle Sam," was Diesel's terse reply.

Ranger raised a questioning eyebrow, "Uncle Sam. Here."

"You know him."

"Doesn't everybody?" Ranger returned.

"Are you kidding?" I chimed in. "Of course everybody knows him. He's the old guy with the goatee in the red, white and blue top hat. What's he got to do with anything? He's not even real."

They looked at me like I'd grown a second nose. Or maybe a third boob. I must be missing something.

"International terrorist, Babe." Ranger informed me.

"Intergalactic terrorist," Diesel corrected.

"You mean he's ......ah....one of those....ah," I hesitated. I hated to use the name Diesel had for the people he pursued because then they might really exist and Diesel might be as alien as he claimed.

"An Unmentionable," both men confirmed.

Damn. I wish they hadn't said that.

Ranger was suddenly all business. "Why?"

"Why what?" Diesel inquired.

"Why would Uncle Sam be in Trenton?"

"Thought maybe you could help me out with that one."

"And that's because................?"

"You're the one got his calling card."

"Calling card. What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"Uncle Sam's calling card is a small American Flag," Diesel said.

"Like the note on your car?" I asked Ranger my voice rising with worry. "You're being stalked by an uber bad guy?"

Ranger wasn't worried. He sniffed once looked at Diesel and said, "Might have been you planted that note."

"But I couldn't have done that?" Diesel protested. "I was already with Steph when you got there." He threw out an evil little grin. "Remember."

"Plenty of guys in line to slash my tires," Ranger informed him.

"You braggin'?" Diesel started.

Ranger interrupted him. "But the note didn't show up until later -- after Steph and I left. Only one I can imagine might benefit from doing that -- is you."

"He always this paranoid?" Diesel asked me. "Cause there's a pill for that too, ya know."

Oh gee, back in death wish territory.

"And how could that possibly benefit me?" Diesel continued.

"Oh, I dunno," Ranger replied. "Distract me. Send me off on a wild goose chase. Take my mind off the fact that you're horning in on my territory."

He punctuated 'my territory' with a pointed look at me.

Huh? My territory? I frowned. "What exactly did you mean by that?" I asked.

"Uhhh, what did I mean by what?"

"You know what," I fumed. "Territory, my territory. You were looking at me -- like, like I was unclaimed real estate." My temper was rising.

Diesel elbowed Ranger like they were pals on the playground. "She's really cute when she's mad. Ever notice? Her ears get all red."

Ranger ignored him - even the elbow. Good thing.

"That's not what I meant at all," he sputtered.

"Oh." Much as I didn't want to be thought of as a vacant lot, I was just a little disappointed.

"Babe, what I meant was........." Ranger started to explain. Then he stopped. He bowed his head and took a deep breath. When he looked up again his blank face had locked into place. No sniffing, no sneezing, no sign of a headache. Back into all control, all the time. Mind over matter. Pretty scary.

He zeroed in on Diesel. "I'm on to you. You're doing 'It' again."

"It?"

"Yeah -- 'It'. Messing with my mojo, crinkling my karma, fucking with my fate." He moved deliberately into Diesel's personal space and said with a menacing rumble. "I don't like it when somebody fucks with my fate."

"No shit!," Diesel agreed. "I hate when that happens."

I thought Ranger was going to punch him, but a loud knocking sound diverted everyone's attention. I turned to see Lula with her nose pressed up against the bond office front window. She rapped again on the glass then pointed at the pastry bag I was still holding. She did a frantic hand to mouth motion that I guessed meant she wanted donuts. She wanted donuts -- RIGHT NOW!

I heard Ranger groan. "Oh, God. I ate her donut didn't I? I'm going to die because of a jelly donut. I knew those things would kill me."

"Listen," I said to him, "if you promise to make nice and hold off on whooping up on Diesel for a few minutes, I'll get you off the hook with Lula. Deal?"

Diesel snickered. I glared. Ranger looked hopeful.

"Can you do that?"

"Yeah," I assured him, "I'm Wonder Woman. I have special powers."

Diesel snickered again. I smacked him on the arm. Maybe I'd whoop up on him myself. Save Ranger the trouble.

Connie waved from her desk but Lula pounced on me the second I opened the bond office door.

"White Girl, I thought you was never comin' in here with that bag. I'm about to waste away to nothin'. I need me a jelly donut!"

With her size 14 attributes packed into size 8 neon orange spandex, Lula didn't look like she would waste away to nothing any time soon, but who was I to argue.

Before I had a chance to say anything she grabbed the pastry bag and was searching through its contents.

In no time at all she determined what was missing.

"White Girl," she protested, "there's no jelly donuts in this bag."

I decided honesty was the best way to go but first I made sure to position myself in front of the door. If Lula went all rhino at least I could absorb the initial blow. Someone would have to call the EMT's but Ranger might live to save the world another day. I was willing to take the hit for Batman.

"I'm really sorry, Lula," I said. "They only had one jelly donut and, well I'm afraid, uh...............Ranger ate it."

Ready to calculate the rage factor, I braced myself for the charge.

Lula surprised me. She dropped the pastry bag on the coffee table and her mouth fell open.

"Ranger ate a donut? Ranger desecrated The Temple?" she said in amazement. "It's true then."

"What's true?" I asked.

"What Tank said."

Uh. Oh. This probably wasn't going to be good.

Afraid of the answer I asked, "And that was what?"

"That with Diesel poppin' into town Ranger's stars were all out of whack and makin' Ranger nearly crazy. Sneezin', gettin' headaches, up all night, mumblin' about havin' to kill Diesel if he touched you." She stopped. "Oops. Don't think I was supposed to tell you that part."

No, probably not.

"Anyway," Lula went on, "ordinarily Ranger's eatin' my jelly would rank right up there with getting my Big Guy shot but, bein' as how Batman's Dieselly-challenged and all just this once I think I can give him a pass."

Thank God for that. Crisis averted. Wonder Woman saves the day.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I retrieved the pastry bag from the coffee table and extracted a Boston Creme -- Wonder Woman has to keep up her strength. I really wanted a second one but Lula was watching and in spite of her generosity or, more likely because of it, she was restless. Her bulk shifted from one foot to the other; she was wearing running shoes. Not that Lula ever ran but, given the vulnerable state of Ranger's defenses, I couldn't chance her having a change of heart and dashing out to kick his ass.

"You can have the rest," I sighed handing over the bag. She decompressed. Ten Boston Creams -- Batman lives. Fair exchange. I was still going to be hungry though.

To compensate for the lack of quantity, I ate my one lonely donut verrrrry slowly while keeping an eye on Ranger and Diesel. Just in case I was needed to referee.

Amazingly, it almost seemed like possibly......... maybe....... perhaps........the two men were having a civil conversation. I saw Diesel's mouth moving. From inside I couldn't hear what he was saying but, Ranger looked like he might even be listening.

Diesel slouched against Big Blue's fender with his hands tucked in his pockets. Somehow the car looked good on him, but then dirty hair, ragged jeans and a day old beard looked good on him too.

There was nothing ragged about Ranger. His cargos and t-shirt, except for the one small patch of powdered sugar I had missed, looked cleaned and pressed. They probably were. Ella would iron his underwear -- if he wore underwear.

The grooming wasn't the only difference going on. Diesel's pose against the car was relaxed and easy. Totally non-threatening. Ranger's shoulders bunched with tension and his hands curled into tight fists at his sides. Head down, he was staring at the ground. It was obvious he didn't like hearing what Diesel had to say. Still, he hadn't hit anybody -- so far, so good.

Connie joined Lula and me at the window. "Scenery sure has improved since I got here this morning," she said doing a fast fanning move completely unrelated to drying her manicure.

"Yeah, bu' Baman don luk hapfy," Lula declared around a mouth full of donut.

Well, if I were a tough guy like Ranger, had an intergalactic bad guy after me and was allergic to the one person who might be able to help me nail the sucker, I don't think I'd be happy either. Not to mention being jealous of the guy I was allergic to because he was making moves on my woman. Okay, that last bit was wishful thinking on my part but, a girl has to dream. Right?

We watched a little longer. I had decided things were going smoothly when Ranger's head suddenly snapped up. Uh Oh. He took a step toward Diesel. Double Uh Oh!

"Gotta go," I told the girls bursting through the door and getting outside just in time to hear Ranger growl at Diesel.

"That's none of your concern."

I would be Stephanie pancake if I had to throw myself between them but, to my surprise, Ranger turned around instead of going for Diesel's throat.

"I think I've heard enough," he said taking two big strides back toward his truck.

"Suit yourself, but don't say I didn't warn you," Diesel called after him.

My relief at the lack of physical contact was short-lived.

Down the block an engine revved. Tires squealed. Something popped once or twice and then there was a..............Whooopf!

Those sounds were a harbinger of disaster. I ought to know. I was the queen of disaster.

Diesel looked up, but never moved his butt from Big Blue's fender.

Intent on leaving, Ranger didn't hear what I heard.

Didn't pay attention to my screaming, "Raaannnnger!"

Didn't have a clue when I hit him broadside, my momentum flattening him on the ground several yards away from the truck. Kafrumph!!

"Babe!" he protested, his voice muffled since his mouth was buried somewhere in my boobs. "What the hell are you doing?"

Shaking with adrenaline, I curled my arms around the top of his head completely covering his upper body with mine. Finally, I gasped out, "Wait!"

Silently I counted down. Five. Four. Three. Two. I never got to One.

KABOOM!!!! KAZAM!!! KAPOW!!!!!!

As the ground rocked with a series of explosions, Ranger rolled flipping over so he was covering me. There was fire, I could feel the heat on my legs. Big and little pieces of black, shiny and new truck rained down all around us.

CLANG! BANG!! CRASH!!!

Another one bites the dust.

Finally, there was silence.

Ranger pushed his chest up off of mine, but his strong powerful body kept the rest of me trapped. We were both breathing hard and fast.

"Are you crazy?" he yelled. "Don't ever do that again! You could have been killed!"

Now that the loud noises were over my insides had turned to jello. And Ranger sounded mad. A piece of flying debris had nicked his cheek. A stream of blood trickled down his face. My eyes filled with tears.

"I could have been killed," I cried. "You could have been killed." I blinked and the tears spilled out and ran into my ears. They tickled.

Ranger shifted his weight onto one hand and with the other he wiped my tears away -- ever so gently. And then he kissed me. Not very gently at all.

Nothing like a little brush with death to get your hormones worked up. I threw my arms around him and kissed him back. He was alive! He was whole -- well except for that whole blood thing. And, damn, if I hadn't saved his life!

Suddenly I felt a chill. I opened one glazed eye. Diesel loomed over us casting a very large shadow.

I'd forgotten all about him but he looked okay. Ranger helped me up. Big Blue was fine too. Not a mark on it. Figures. All that was left of Ranger's truck was a big charred spot on the pavement.

Ranger was staring at the spot.

"Now do you believe me?" Diesel handed something to Ranger. It was a tiny parachute weighted by a flat stone decorated with a small American Flag. "Blew in while you were..........uh........busy," Diesel said.

Ranger was about to reply when we heard sirens in the distance. For the first time Diesel looked concerned. He wrinkled his nose. "Think I'll let you kids field this one. Cops always want to see my driver's license. It can be a problem."

I turned as Trenton's finest pulled to the curb. Big Dog and Carl climbed out. They didn't look too surprised to see me. When I turned back Diesel had disappeared. They seemed pretty surprised to see Ranger.

"This is really starting to piss me off," Ranger said.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

These lovely characters (with the exception of Uncle Sam) belong to Janet E. I am only borrowing them for my own evil purposes.

**Chapter 9**

"You didn't tell them about Uncle Sam."

"No."

Carl and Big Dog had come and gone. They had asked their questions and Ranger had answered them -- without telling them anything.

"Why not?"

"Trenton's finest can't handle Uncle Sam."

"I see."

No, I didn't see. Not that I doubted Ranger. Really, I didn't. But was he planning to take on Uncle Sam all by himself? My eyes strayed to the charred spot on the street. Not long before it had been a truck. I mean the man had trashed two vehicles in two days – one completely beyond repair. That had to be a record. Even I had never done that.

"I'm not planning to take him on alone."

Damn ESP. But, ESP aside, I was relieved.

"I need to talk to Diesel."

Great. Maybe relief was premature. "Uhhhh."

"What?" he asked. "You don't trust me to play nice?"

Nope sure didn't.

Ranger took a deep breath. "Look, I don't have a choice. This is a bad guy. His capture requires Diesel's particular..................expertise." He hesitated. "Whether I like it or not."

I tried to pin him down. "You know why he's here don't you? Uncle Sam."

"I have a pretty good idea," he admitted.

"And you didn't already tell this to Diesel," I yelled. "I thought that's what this morning's little meeting was about. What were you thinking?"

Ranger squirmed. He didn't say anything.

"Well?" I resisted the urge to tap my foot.

But Ranger was done feeling uncomfortable. It was my turn. I flushed hot all over as his eyes fixed on me darkening to molten chocolate.

"Our discussion went off topic," he said.

Oh. My heart stopped, but Ranger continued, back to business.

"Where do you think he went?"

"Back to my place?" I ventured cautiously.

"Yeah, no doubt," he snorted in disgust.

The space on the street was still truck-less. Ranger looked at Big Blue.

I found the car keys in my bag and held them out.

"Babe," he said shaking his head. "I can't drive that."

"Gee, most guys seem to like it and it's guaranteed indestructible." I couldn't resist adding, "Might not be a bad idea given your recent history."

Ranger didn't appreciate my humor.

Finally he asked, "Can I paint it black?"

"You'd have to cut a deal with Grandma Mazur," I told him.

He shuddered at the thought, pulled out his cell phone and hit speed dial.

"I need a car." **Pause**. "Now!" **Pause.** "Don't play dumb, Tank, I know you heard it on the scanner. **Pause. **"What do you mean it's not in the budget?" **Pause. ** "I own the fucking budget!" **Pause. Teeth grinding. **"No. I'll wait for the Cayenne." **Pause. "**Is that Santos I hear?" **Pause. **"You tell Santos if he even whispers I should be more aware of my surroundings he'll be going to Somalia...............and, Tank,....................tell him the pirates will know which boat he's on."

**Disconnect. Pause. Sigh. **

Again I offered Big Blue's keys. Ranger looked like he'd sucked a lemon, but he took them.

He zoned the whole way to my apartment building; he sighed again when we arrived. The only place to park was next to the dumpster.

"It's okay," I said as we pulled into the space. "My cars are used to parking here."

We hit the lobby and I headed for the elevator. Mrs. Bestler peeked out the door. "Going up dears?" she asked.

In spite of the continued bad parking karma, Ranger was back in warrior mode or maybe he was just really leery of Mrs. Bestler. He took one look at her and dragged me to the stairs. I had to run to keep up with him in the hallway but he slowed when he got to my door. I reached for the doorknob, but with one strong arm he pulled me back behind him.

Before I could stop him or point out that he was holding my keys in his hand, he snapped out with a heavy-booted heel, hit the door just below the lock and blew it wide open splintering the frame.

Shit! Diesel was right. Poofing was less hassle. I was going to need a carpenter. Again.

Ranger entered the room eyes sweeping the space. Looking for bad guys.

There was only Diesel -- sitting at the table hunched over a laptop that looked suspiciously like mine.

"Hi Kids," he waved and grinned. "What took you so long?"

"This isn't funny anymore," Ranger said.

"It never has been," Diesel responded the grin disappearing. With his eyes trained on Ranger, Diesel motioned at me. "Here you've been telling her how unsafe it is to hang around with me and, more than likely, you're the one she should be avoiding."

Ranger went completely still. This was dangerous territory. He was always afraid I would be hurt by one of his enemies. It was one reason he wouldn't allow us to get too close.

Relentless and unmindful of Ranger's reaction Diesel spun the laptop so we could see the display. "I think you know exactly what this is about, Ranger. You want to tell me which one of these jobs it entails?"

Ranger's gaze dropped to the monitor. There were four file folders on the page. "Fuck," he said under his breath, "I'm going to have to fire Hector."

I took another look at the screen and gasped. I knew access to the page that was showing required at least twelve different passwords and the blood of your mother. "You hacked into the RangeMan computer system," I screeched at Diesel.

He shrugged. "Desperate times. Desperate measures."

To Ranger he said, "Don't be too hard on your man. No way for him to know what I can do with a twitch of my nose."

Ranger bowed his head. "It's the parade," he said quietly. He sat down at the table, pulled the laptop to himself and executed several clicks and keystrokes. One of the file folders opened up. The title caption read - Eyes Only - July 4th Parade 2009, Trenton, NJ.

"Uncle Sam's here for the parade?" I asked. It sounded ridiculous. What about Trenton, New Jersey's 4th of July parade would attract an intergalactic terrorist?

Diesel caught right on. "Who's going to be here?" he asked Ranger.

"That's classified."

"What's RangeMan have to do with it?" Diesel persisted.

Ranger's gaze locked on Diesel. After a beat he said, "Providing security."

Duh! Of course they were. That's what RangeMan did. Ranger was giving up nothing. Just like with Carl and Big Dog.

"I'm going to need a little more to go on than that," Diesel said running a hand through his hair -- frustration beginning to show.

Ranger did the blank face so Diesel free associated.

"Okay, let's see. Uncle Sam specializes in creating chaos. In particular he likes to disrupt governments -- the bigger the better. He's been working his way up. He started with a two-bit dictator some place in South America. Then he took out the German Vice Chancellor. I believe the King of Saudi Arabia was next on the agenda, but the poor man came down with pneumonia and didn't make the event where he was supposed to die. Several lesser princes stayed healthy and attended in his stead. Too bad for them. How'm I doin' so far?"

Ranger sat. Said nothing.

"So...............it's the 4th of July -- the good old US of A's biggest national holiday. People gather, John Philip Sousa fills the air, government officials give patriotic speeches." He paused, "Fireworks EXPLODE all over the place. Accidents happen."

I was getting nervous. If Uncle Sam was here looking for bigger burgers to barbeque Trenton's parade must be having a very special visitor.

"OMIGOD!" I blurted out, "The President is coming to the parade tomorrow!"

If you didn't know Ranger you wouldn't realize that he'd reacted to my words. But, I knew Ranger and I saw his eyes widen a thirty-second of an inch. With his hyper-sensitivity Diesel saw it too.

Busted.

"Damn it all," Ranger said, "My men won't know the true nature of our mission until briefing at 0800." He threw me a hard stare. "Not even Tank knows who is coming."

"Lucky guess." I offered with a sickly smile.

"Now we're getting somewhere," Diesel observed. "All we need to know is where and how."

"Don't forget 'Who,' Ranger reminded us. "We still can't identify Uncle Sam."

TBC

I planned to have this story finished in time for the 4th of July, but that is not going to happen. There are still a couple chapters left to go! Many thanks to everyone out there who has been reading and commiserating with poor Ranger. I promise to put him back the way I found him before I'm finished.


	10. Chapter 10

All these lovely characters belong to JE. Sadly, I can only borrow them, but I can still bend them to my evil purposes.

**Chapter 10**

Murder. Murder pure and simple. It was written all over Ranger's face. He stood up so fast his chair toppled over backwards.

"Diesel!" I warned.

"What? What'd I say?"

I rolled my eyes.

"You invited me to leave so you could take Stephanie to bed," Ranger reminded him.

Diesel looked at me. "I said that? Really? I said that?"

"Not in so many words," I assured him. "I'm sure that wasn't what you meant."

Never mind that Ranger was glowering at him across the table, Diesel fixed me with his bedroom eyes as well as a warm lazy smile and insisted in a low husky voice, "Oh, I'm sure that was exactly what I meant."

"That's it." Ranger rounded the table with fists clenched and murder obviously still on his mind. "I knew when he got here I was going to have to kill him," he muttered.

"STOP IT!" I ordered, 'burg glares all around. "Both of you!"

Diesel sat there grinning enjoying the angry Ranger spectacle.

Under normal circumstances, Ranger's face would never give away what he was thinking or, God forbid, feeling. But these were not normal circumstances. Not by a long shot. The day had been **insane**. Of course any day starting with Ranger having a donut for breakfast was bound to be screwed up.

Now it was midnight and we were all **exhausted**. Exhausted and no closer to knowing the where, how or who of Uncle Sam's design than we had been twelve hours before. We'd been over and over Ranger's files and his lists of people connected to the festivities -- everyone from the President himself to the snow cone vendors. And we had zip. Nothing. Nada. No clue as to which one of them was Uncle Sam or what he had planned.

"Look," I said, "we're all tired and **burnt-out**. Maybe we should get some sleep before we implode or end up **delirious**."

"So we'll see you tomorrow then," Diesel said looking at Ranger expectantly and making little shooing motions toward the door.

"I'm staying," Ranger announced.

"Awwww," Diesel protested. "Thought you had a briefing in the morning. Wouldn't want to miss that."

"Tank can pick me up at 0600," Ranger replied. "Be there in plenty of time for the briefing and, in the meantime," Diesel got the look that made most grown men cry, "I can keep an eye on things here."

Great! My apartment just shrunk. Again.

"Ranger," I whispered anxiously, "what about your allergy?" He'd kept the sneezing under control while we were concentrating on Uncle Sam, but although I never thought I'd say it, I was worried that his blank face was broken. I didn't like it when he used it on me, but I could see it's usefulness on the job.

"All the more reason for me to stay," Ranger explained. "If I have to work with him tomorrow I need to desensitize."

"Sorry, Sweet Thing," Diesel apologized. "I tried."

Ranger growled. I threw up my arms in disgust.

"I'm going to bed," I announced. "In there." I pointed to my bedroom. "**I don't have to share my blankie if I don't want to.** With either of you! You two can fight over the couch."

They were both whining as I flounced into the kitchen where I removed my gun and a handful of loose ammunition from the cookie jar. They stopped whining and watched with concern when I returned and laid the ammo on the table. I only dropped one of the bullets while I loaded the pistol. I checked the safety and hoisted my weapon.

Ranger looked worried. "Babe?" he inquired.

"Like I said, I'm going to bed. Alone! You can both stay or you can both go, I don't care. But the first man who comes through my bedroom door is going to get shot. You have **insomnia**, you better not come to me for a sleeping pill. You might just sleep forever. We clear?"

My marksmanship, or lack thereof, was legendary. No telling what I might hit. They looked at each other. They looked at me.

In unison. "Clear."

*****

When my alarm went off dawn was just peeking in the window, there were no naked men in my bed and everything was quiet. I hoped that meant Ranger and Diesel had called a truce and not that there were dead bodies littering my living room. It wasn't that I would have minded having a naked Ranger in my bed. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have shot him, but given the gravity of the situation the timing just didn't seem right. I really didn't want to find dead bodies.

I showered and dressed quickly. It was going to be another scorcher.

Still quiet.

No dead bodies in the living room. Ranger and Diesel were gone. They had left me a Tasty Pastry bag and a note. I smiled when I read it.

**You were right.**

**Today will take cooperation.**

**You need to keep up your strength.**

**Enjoy!**

**R and D**

Cute.

**P.S. We can kill each other later.**

Except for that.

TBC

It's short, I know. This wasn't the chapter I had planned, but it popped into my head and wouldn't go away until I wrote it down. RangeMan briefing and The Parade are next. Thanks for bearing with me.


	11. Chapter 11

Except for Uncle Sam, these lovely characters belong to JE. Sadly, I can only borrow them, but I can still bend them to my evil purposes.

**Chapter 11**

Since I didn't have to stop for breakfast, I made it to Haywood with minutes to spare. It was standing room only in RangeMan's largest conference room. Except for the men on the Control Room monitors and a skeleton team to back them up, all RangeMan employees had been assigned to the parade. They'd trained blind for weeks. Now they'd find out why.

The room was a sea of color. Ranger's orders were for the men to report dressed in jeans with red, white and blue shirts instead of the usual black so they would blend in with the crowd. Each man was former military and definitely drool worthy. Colorful shirts or not, I wasn't so sure about the blending in thing.

Heads together, Ranger and Tank conversed at the front of the room. Diesel sat on a table off to the side and surveyed the assembly. He caught my eye and winked at the same time Ranger looked up and saw me.

My mouth went dry. Ranger's shirt was red. The color made his hair and eyes impossibly black. No winks from him. He gave me a slight nod. I'd been worried about him but, this morning, even with Diesel nearby, he seemed in control and ready. All business.

At Tank's signal, Cal shut the door. The clock on the wall read 0800. Diesel still perched on the table but Tank assumed a parade rest stance. Ranger's presence -- straight, still, serious -- drew every man's attention. Voices quieted and feet stopped shuffling like someone had thrown a switch.

Ranger appraised his men. His expression didn't change, but his eyes registered approval.

"Gentlemen," he began.

I know I blushed when he looked my way adding, "and lady."

"You have probably concluded, our mission involves the Trenton 4th of July parade. We are to supplement security along the parade route. Precautions are being taken because the President of the United States will be participating in the festivities."

A murmur stirred the gathering. I saw Tank's surprised reaction. He really hadn't known.

Ranger continued, "RangeMan has earned a well-respected reputation in this community. I am honored we have been selected to support this operation. You've trained hard and I appreciate it.

The President's limousine will join the parade two blocks from the reviewing stand. Once the reviewing stand is reached, he will exit the car and briefly greet the state and local dignitaries there. He will return to the car, exit the parade route and proceed to the airport.

Our assignment is to provide the route with extra eyes and ears. Tank and I will be coordinating. Hector has electronics for all of you. Keep in touch. Report everything."

He paused but the men never moved. It was obvious the boss had something more to say.

Ranger turned toward Diesel who stayed put on the table and gave the men a jaunty salute. I was sure Ranger wasn't happy with the casual gesture.

"I'd like to introduce Diesel Edwards," Ranger said. Mr. Edwards is a special governmental liaison who has been assisting me with this operation."

"Yeah," I muttered under my breath, "except you forgot the part about that government being the General Assembly of Outer Space."

Ranger still had more to say. "Through Mr Edward's contacts we have been made cognizant of a possible threat to the President's safety."

Well, that much was true.

"Some of you may be aware of attacks made on me over the last couple of days. It is our belief that these attacks were designed to distract me from the importance of our mission today."

Ranger fixed his men with a hard purposeful stare. "They have failed."

He went on, "You are all military trained. I don't need to remind you that the man visiting our city is not just the President of the United States. He is our Commander In Chief."

He paused for emphasis.

"Nothing happens to him on our watch."

There was a beat of silence and then the room erupted in applause. My eyes blurred with tears. It wasn't a surprise Ranger was willing to die to protect the President, he'd done the same for me. I scrubbed my arm across my eyes not wanting anyone to see me cry. When I opened them again, Diesel was right beside me. He had a strange look on his face. Sort of a half sad little smile.

"Nice speech," he said. "Real motivational."

I tried willing away the lump in my throat so I could trust my voice to respond, but the voices in my head kept repeating 'Ranger could die. Ranger could die. Ranger could die.'

Next thing I knew Diesel threw his arm around me and pulled me close. I felt his soft breath tickling my ear.

"Don't worry, Sweet Thing," he whispered. "I'll take care of him."

I frowned. Take care of him how, I wondered. That's kind of what I was afraid of.

Ranger found us a second later. Diesel had managed to plaster me all up against his chest.

"Stephanie."

Full name. Uh Oh. I disentangled myself from Diesel's arms.

"You'll partner with Lester," Ranger told me ignoring Diesel. "I want you two directly across from the reviewing stand positioned so you have a good view of the dignitaries. Trust your instincts. Report anything you find unusual to me."

He turned to go. I wanted to capture him in a bone-crushing hug but there were too many men still in the room for that kind of display. I seized his arm in both hands. The muscle of his forearm tensed under my touch. "Ranger," I pleaded, "please, be careful."

He nodded and took note of Diesel's hand resting on my shoulder. He had a strange look on his face. Sort of a half sad little smile.

"You find your own way there," he threw at Diesel as he exited the room.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Except for Uncle Sam, all these lovely characters belong to JE. Sadly, I can only borrow them, but I can still bend them to my evil purposes.

Chapter 12

Sweat!

Dripping down the back of my neck. Trickling between my boobs. Burning my eyes. Making my toes soggy for cripes sake!

"Maybe it'll rain," Lester offered.

This sage prediction came while his laser gaze continually swept the crowd opposite us. Probably why he hadn't noticed the sun's huge fireball bleaching out the sky and raising heat from the asphalt in shimmering waves.

We were ten minutes into the parade but we'd been in place for an hour. The heat exaggerated everything. Amplifying sounds -- sirens on the fire engines, brass in the bands, shrill cries of excited children. Intensifying smells -- cotton candy, lemonade, body odor. Enhancing sights -- dozens of flags, red, white and blue everywhere.

Old Glory flew from atop temporary flagpoles rimming the reviewing stand and lining the block before it and after it.

I tried to concentrate on my assignment in spite of the sensory overload. Most of the dignitaries I recognized from pictures in the newspaper or on the news. Nobody looked like an intergalactic terrorist. My eyes weren't as disciplined as Lester's, they kept straying to Ranger.

No fair. Leaning casually against the railing at the bottom of the reviewing stand, he looked cool as a cucumber. He sounded cool too and calm as he responded to reports the men fed to him. His low steady voice in my earpiece was the only thing keeping me in my skin. The President was due to join the line of march in another fifteen minutes.

There was no sign of Diesel.

"Focus, focus, focus," I mumbled as I pulled a list of parade participants from my pocket. Printing out the names Ranger, Diesel and I had reviewed repeatedly the day before was the last thing I had done before leaving home. Maybe overnight a big red circle had appeared around one them complete with a warning label reading 'Uncle Sam!'. Or………maybe I was suffering from sunstroke.

For a few minutes I tried matching the names on the paper with the faces sitting in the reviewing stand. Gaining no insight whatsoever.

Further misguided inspiration had me pairing off the names on the list. I matched the mayor with the state's attorney, the newly elected state senator with the president of the city council. Hey! They were both guys. Oh well, I'd always thought the president of the city council was gay. Me with Ranger. Wait. Our names weren't on the list. My brain was definitely fried. I glanced back at Ranger.

Who was the woman standing next to him? Short blue skirt. Long legs. White blouse. Big boobs. Red hair. Long and curly. Geez she looked just like the flag.

Lester interrupted my meandering thought process. "So what do you know about this Edwards guy?"

Edwards guy? Edwards guy? It was a second before I realized Lester was talking about Diesel. Since Tank was aware of Diesel and his peculiarities, I thought all of Ranger's core team was in the know. Guess not.

"Um, I ahh, I've worked with him before. Why?"

Good thing Lester still had his eyes on the crowd or he would have noticed how uncomfortable I was.

"I dunno. Seems kind of strange."

Yeah, strange didn't begin to cover it.

"Sort of a loose cannon. Not the type Ranger usually agrees to work with."

"Ahh. Okaaay." I chanced a look Lester's way. Still eyeing the crowd. "Maybe Ranger didn't have a choice."

"Ranger always has a choice. And what about the Secret Service. Don't they usually handle threats to the President?"

Oh I could just hear that conversation:

There's a possible threat to the President.

From who?

Uncle Sam.

He's a caricature.

Actually, he's terrorist.

Sure he is. Where's he from?

Don't know.

What's he look like?

Don't know.

What's his plan?

Don't know.

Where'd you get the tip?

From an intergalactic police officer known as an Unmentionable.

Thanks so much Mr. Manoso. The nice man in the white suit will escort

you to the Federal Building where we can discuss this in more detail.

Not only would Ranger never get another government contract, he'd be lucky to ever surface from the looney bin.

That woman was still standing next to Ranger. Talking to him.

And he was listening!!!

"Lester?"

"Hmmmm." Eyes on the crowd.

Sharply. "Lester!"

"What, Beautiful?"

Finally he turned to me. But I was staring at Ranger.

"Who's the woman with Ranger? Do you know her?"

Lester looked. "The one with her hands all over him you mean."

She **was** all over him. Sliding her palm up his chest; running her finger across his lips. MY LIPS. They belonged to me!

I smacked Lester on the arm. "Yes, dammit, that one. Who is she?"

"She's the Flag Lady."

"Flag Lady? What do you mean, Flag Lady?"

"Her company supplied all the flags." He pointed at the sea of color all up and down the block.

"Her name. What's her name?" Something wasn't right.

"It's something historical -- like Martha Washington or Patsy Jefferson or............."

"Betsy Ross?" I supplied.

"No, that's not it."

Not it? History wasn't my best subject, but I knew Betsy Ross was the flag lady. I grabbed my list and started down the line of names. I saw a possibility.

"Lester," I asked, "is her name Dolly? Dolly Madison? Dolly S. Madison?"

"Yeah, that's it? Dolly Madison."

That was just wrong. If you owned a flag company -- even, maybe especially, if your name was Dolly Madison -- wouldn't you change it to Betsy Ross. Unless you were from out of town. Like waayyy waaaaayyyy of town and didn't realize you'd made a mistake.

As I watched she did something to convince me she was our man, uhh, woman. Very carefully she pinned a small American Flag to Ranger's collar. Then she smiled. She wasn't pretty when she smiled.

"Ranger!" I barked into my microphone. His chin came up at the sound of my voice in his ear. "Lose the flag!! There is no Uncle Sam!! Uncle Sam is really Aunt Samantha!!"

Dolly Madison was walking away. The President's car rolled into view. Suddenly all the flagpoles along the parade route and the tiny ones flying the banners decorating the President's limo spit out a dense thick smoke. It was red, white and blue and the smoke from the car must have been drugged. The Secret Service Agents began to stagger and weave. They went down one after another. People in the crowd started running and screaming. Pandemonium.

I heard Ranger say in a still calm voice, "Tank, secure the President." He reached toward his collar before he stumbled and disappeared in the impenetrable haze.

"Diesel!!" I screamed and was rewarded by his voice in my earpiece.

"I'm on it, Sweet Thing."

I breathed again until a second later I heard a 'whomp' and a 'thud' followed by maniacal feminine laughter.

"Ranger? Diesel?" I cried. Static. Silence. Nothing.

I took one step in the direction of the reviewing stand before a thick arm wrapped around my waist.

"Sorry, Beautiful," Lester said softly. "You can't go over there. Ranger's orders."

Tears streaming down my face, I struggled. A useless gesture against Lester's strength.

There was a small break in the smoke revealing Tank at the wheel of the President's limo. With the growling purr of a powerful engine, Ranger's right hand man whisked the Leader of the Free World out of the chaos.

At least the President was safe. Ranger and Diesel's status was another question.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

As you know, these lovely characters don't belong to me but, I do so like to play with them.

Chapter 13

"Let me go!! Let me go!! Let me go!!" I kicked. I twisted. I elbowed.

"No can do, Beautiful." Lester held fast.

I tried polite words. "Pleeeeeeease, let me go."

Lester relaxed his hold just slightly and asked, "Are you going to run?"

I couldn't lie to Lester. Face it, I couldn't lie to anyone. I hesitated a second too long.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he said. The hold tightened again.

"I have to find Ranger. He could be hurt!" Quashing a sob. "He could be dead!"

"Beautiful, I have orders. Anything bad goes down, you stay with me. Out of harm's way."

"Santos!" I commanded using my best 'like Ranger' voice. "Let me go -- RIGHT NOW!"

"Beautiful. I let you go, you run off and get hurt, Ranger will kill me."

"But Ranger could already be dead!" I reiterated.

Lester answered in a frustratingly reasonable tone. "I let you go, you run off and get hurt and Ranger is dead -- Tank has orders to kill me."

Leave it to Ranger to cover all possibilities.

"AGGGGHHHAAA!!!!!" That really helped.

The smoke began to clear. Several of the downed Secret Service Agents twitched and moaned. At least they weren't dead. The people in the crowd stopped their stampede and now looked either bewildered -- was there going to be a parade?-- or annoyed -- there wasn't going to be any parade.

It wasn't long before a large number of pissed off men in serious suits gathered around the President's still groggy bodyguards. No doubt misplacing the Number One Guy in broad daylight in front of hundreds of people wasn't the best way to raise your pay grade.

Lester showed considerable interest in the agents' activity and I saw my opening. I might not be able to lie to him, but it didn't bother me to lay on some hurt if it meant I could escape his grasp. His instep was a split second away from feeling my aggravation when Ranger emerged from the parting wisps of smoke.

Only Ranger -- by himself. Hair loose from its tie. Shirt torn open and untucked. Collar ripped and partly missing. Darkening bruises visible low on his chest and at his jawline. Omigod, was that the slightest limp? Looking a little worse for wear. And...........sexy as hell.

Relief shouldered its way through me and came out in one deep shuddering breath. At his boss' signal, Lester released me.

I raced toward Ranger, still looking hopefully for another familiar face. No Diesel.

When he saw me searching the crowd behind him, Ranger's expression turned decidedly grim.

"Don't worry about Golden Boy," he growled answering my unasked question. "Son of a Bitch is fine. Galaxy's probably going to give him their Medal of Honor."

I was guessing Ranger's words meant they'd gotten their guy, uh, their girl or..................their whatever.

"Thank goodness he's okay. Are you," I started, but before I could ask if Ranger was really all right, three of the newly arrived government guys approached. Two of them, each just slightly smaller than Tank, flanked Ranger. The third man did the talking.

"Carlos Manoso?"

Ranger nodded.

"RangeMan Enterprises?"

Again the nod, tighter this time, mouth a hard line, eyes cautious.

Abandoning his smooth professional veneer, the third man demanded, "What the hell is going on here? And what the FUCK have you done with the President?"

Each of the G-man goons put a hand on Ranger's shoulder. "You need to come with us," #1 said.

"Yeah, you come with us," echoed #2.

I gasped when resistance flickered in Ranger's eyes. He paused and looked at me. Resistance shifted to resignation. Shaking his head, he allowed the men to escort him to a vehicle idling on the perimeter.

"Think the boss might have some explaining to do?" Lester asked coming up behind me.

"You have no idea," I responded.

TBC

I know. This chapter is short and been a long time coming. I'm sorry. But.........the next one is almost finished! Thanks very much for sticking with me.


	14. Chapter 14

As you know, these lovely characters don't belong to me but, I do so like to play with them.

**Chapter 14**

"There he is! Way to go!" Scattered applause. "All Right! WooHoo!"

Tank was the star attraction at the annual Frank Plum 4th of July picnic. He tried to be unobtrusive, but it's hard to be low key when you're a black six foot six giant hunk of muscle, wearing a grin as big Texas and are known to have recently rescued the President of the United States.

Probably didn't help that he had Lula on his arm wearing sequin encrusted red, white and blue spandex. Lula didn't do low key.

"White Girl," she enthused. "You seen what my Big Guy done? He done saved the President! And look at that hat! The President hisself give him that hat!"

I checked out Tank's headgear, a black baseball cap bearing the Presidential seal and the words - Captain - Air Force One.

"Big Guy says the President snatched that right off his pilot's head and handed to him. Said today my Big Guy was his Captain."

Her hero.

Tank's complexion is too dark to tell, but I knew he was blushing. Feeling good about being Lula's hero.

"Hey," I teased, "that cap says 'Air Force' on it. Thought you were an Army Ranger. Your buddies going to let you keep it?"

Tank went serious on me. "Just let them try and take it," he promised ominously.

Guess being the President's hero wasn't bad either.

He was mine too -- I gave him a hug to let him know.

"Tank?" I asked quietly once I let him go. "Have you seen Ranger?"

He knew I was concerned.

"No, Bomber, I haven't seen him," he replied, "but I know they released him. The President made sure of it.

"Thanks. That makes me feel better." Not much but at least Ranger hadn't disappeared down a governmental rabbit hole.

There were three constants about the annual Frank Plum 4th of July picnic -- Dad's barbeque, Mom's famous potato salad and the fact that you only got invited once. After that you knew when it was going to happen -- you came or you didn't as the spirit or a better offer moved you. Ranger's invitation was several years old. I was about to break a cardinal rule. I really hoped he didn't have a better offer.

I pulled out my cell phone, hit one on the speed dial and got Ranger's friendly call-back message. "Manoso!" it barked. "Talk!" "Make it snappy," was implied.

"Uh, Ranger? It's Steph." Duh. Like he wouldn't know. "I, uh....I was....uh....just wondering if you were....uh....coming to the picnic. You know, my dad's........." I felt a prickle on the back of my neck just before I heard his voice -- deep, husky.

"You lookin' for me?"

I spun around. Oh yeah, I was lookin' for him all right. He must have had his fill of flag colors because he was back to basic black -- his shirt crisp, rolled at the sleeves and collared. My eyes got stuck on the smooth patch of moche latte colored skin visible right above his top button. Actually, it was the third button. The first two were undone. Gulp!

I think I licked my lips.

"Playin' with fire, Babe," he breathed softly.

"Huh! Ah!" I jumped, tearing my eyes away from the spot on his neck I wanted to nip and nibble. Their next stop was the dark bruise at his jawline and I shivered thinking about how close I'd come to losing him.

I threw myself into his arms and held him tight -- displacing my fears with the solid reality of his so very hard body. "You really are okay?" I cried.

"I'm fine," he answered squeezing me back. After a minute he said, "Thought you only ever got one invitation to this shindig."

"I was afraid you forgot," I mumbled into his chest.

"Babe," he replied earnestly, "this is one day I don't think I'll ever forget."

Suddenly there was a poofing sound followed by a loud cackling voice exclaiming, "Yahoo!!! Look at the package on this one!"

Diesel making his entrance. To Grandma Mazur's great delight.

Dumbfounded, Ranger pulled away. "You invited him? Him?"

"Well, yeah, of course. He's staying at my place. It would have been rude not to invite him," I explained.

"Well shit," Ranger spit out, "we wouldn't want to be rude. Doesn't matter the Son of a Bitch has been screwin' with me ever since he got here. Making me look like a fool. Setting me up. Getting me arrested for treason! And now," he gestured with a flourish, "your grandma is pinching his ass!"

Ranger sounded kind of jealous. Who knew Grandma Mazur's attention was that important to him. Sure enough. Laughing and doing little dance steps, Diesel was only half-heartedly attempting to avoid Grandma's wicked fingers.

"Can't imagine you'd mind so much," I said to him. "Takes the heat off of you."

But Ranger was outraged. Seething he muttered, "Someone needs to teach this guy a lesson." He stalked off toward Diesel with shoulders bunched and fists clenched.

Oh Crap! I hurried after him hoping to discourage bloodshed. Bloodshed didn't go with picnics.

Ranger was two feet from Diesel's back and closing fast when he stopped dead. He took two jerky breaths and I heard him say, "Christ, not again."

"AHCHOO! AHCHOO!! AHCHOO!!!"

It was like he'd hit a force field made of pollen.

Diesel turned around with a big smile seemingly oblivious that Ranger had been planning to pound him into the ground. "Hey," he said giving Ranger's shoulder a hearty clap, "glad you could make it. Man, I gotta thank you. Couldn't have done it without you. Sorry about the misunderstanding with the Feds. Bet that was some red tape, huh?"

Next Diesel planted a big sloppy kiss on my lips. "Sweet Thing," he said, "great party! Thanks for the invite."

Angry, fighting another sneeze and unnerved by Diesel's gratitude, Ranger was close to hyperventilation. He struggled for control. "Thought you'd be long gone," he finally got out. "Don't you have paperwork to do?"

"Naw," Diesel said, "we're online -- all automated. Push a button. Enter the bad guy's code. Push another button. Done deal. Terrific system, you should look into it."

"I don't think so," Ranger responded. "You and I have unfinished..........."

He was interrupted. "Ranger! Ranger!"

Mary Alice galloped up to us, grabbed Ranger's hand and began pulling. "Ranger, come play ball with us! Come play ball with us NOW!"

Without waiting for an answer she turned and galloped away tugging a reluctant Ranger behind her. Tension diffused by a pre-teen who liked to believe she was a horse. Wonders never cease.

Diesel did nonchalant as he watched as the ball game begin. Ranger pitching. Mary Alice at the plate.

He tried to ignore my death glare. "Ranger says you set him up."

"Moi'?" he replied the look on his face saying 'cat with canary'.

"Did you?" I persisted. "Set him up? Did you know Uncle Sam was a woman? And that she was the one stalking him?"

"Uncle Sam isn't a woman," Diesel replied. "It was a disguise, a clever well-planned ruse to throw us off."

I thought about the big boobs, the curly hair -- those wandering hands all over Ranger's chest. Ewwww! No wonder he was pissed.

"You knew!!" I cried. "And you didn't tell him!"

"No, I didn't know."

Diesel checked to see if that answer was going to fly.

Like a rock.

"Okay," he relented, "maybe I suspected. The important thing is we flushed him out. We got our man."

"At Ranger's expense," I protested. "According to him, this is quite a feather in your cap though. Nabbing Uncle Sam."

Diesel looked down and scuffed the toe of his boot against a tuft of grass. Diesel, shy, wasn't something I was used to. "Yeah, it's probably a promotion. They'll kick me upstairs. Assign me a desk." He looked up. "And you know what that means."

"No," I said. "I don't. What does that mean?"

His big brown eyes turned liquid, smoldering. He reached out and gently ran the back of one warm finger across my cheek. "Fewer operations in the field. Less danger. Opportunity to settle down. More time to see you."

"I......I...I...." I didn't know what to say. Me speechless.

There was a crack as ball met bat. The orb sailed over Ranger's head and carried to the back of the yard where it hit the wooden fence and bounced into some weeds. Ranger hot on its trail.

Diesel was still looking at me. Now I was the one hyperventilating.

"Be careful, Ranger," came a cry from Mary Alice. "Watch out for the poison ivy!"

Ranger had been about to reach into the tall grass. He froze against the fence searching the varied greenery surrounding him.

"What the heck?" I said snapping out of Diesel's spell. "There's no poison........."

Diesel stifled a giggle.

"You didn't! After what you did to him today -- this week! How could you?"

He gave me a rueful little grin and took my hand. "Look, Sweet Thing, what I said before, I meant it, but I know I'm not the one."

I dropped my head, unable to look him in the eye.

He lifted my chin with one finger. "I couldn't help but notice it wasn't me you threw yourself at when that bomb was going off the other day."

"Diesel, I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry," he replied. "I can take a hint. Just can't blame a guy for trying."

In the distance we heard, "ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO!"

Still stuck against the fence, Ranger was using the sleeve of his no longer crisp shirt as a handkerchief. "I don't understand," I said, "Why is he like this around you?"

"You really don't get it?"

I shook my head.

"You," he tapped his finger on the tip of my nose, ".............absolutely rock his world. He's afraid of losing you."

"Don't be silly," I sighed. "Joe never gave him a headache or made him sneeze."

Diesel puffed out his chest. "I'd like to think I'm a lot better competition than Joe. Tell me. Ever any real danger of his losing you to the cop?"

"No," I admitted my cheeks turning pink. "Not really."

"Well there you go. Anyway, I offered him the antidote," Diesel said.

"You did?"

"Yep. No surprise, he wasn't real taken with my generosity. Said he didn't need me to tell him, 'cause he already knew what it was."

"He did?"

"Yep." Diesel gathered me into his arms for a long tender hug.

Suddenly I heard Ranger's voice carrying across the yard. Loud! Really Loud!! Demanding attention.

"STEPHANIE!! BABE!! DON'T GO WITH HIM!! PLEASE!! DON'T GO!! I LOVE YOU!!!"

Whoa!

Vaguely, I heard Diesel say, "Guess I'm finished here."

There was another little poofing noise. I looked over my shoulder. Diesel was gone.

Ranger still hadn't moved but his impossibly dark eyes held mine as I made my way across the yard. Seemed like it took forever.

"Hey," I said softly when I got there.

He looked a little shaken. "Babe," he replied.

I was shaky too.

"Ranger." "Babe." "I love." "I'm so.." We both talked at once.

We stopped. Ranger pulled me into his arms and we held each other for a minute.

Then he whispered in my ear, "There isn't really any poison ivy in here is there?"

"No," I whispered back, "but I have calamine lotion. I can rub it all over your body just to be safe."

His arms tightened around me. "Safe wasn't what I had in mind," he responded as he locked his lips on mine.

WOOSH! BOOM! WOOSH! CRACKLE!! WOOSH! BOOM! BOOM! WOOSH! POW! WOOSH! BOOM!! CRACKLE!! POW!

"Ranger?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Do you hear fireworks?"

"It is the 4th of July, Babe."

"I know, but it isn't dark yet."

"Guess that's what happens when your world's turned upside down."

"You might have to thank him"

"You're killin' me, Babe."

The End

Many thanks to you all who have gone on this unusual ride with me. I've had a lot of fun and hope you have too. For all your encouragement and lovely comments, I am truly grateful. SueB


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